Told to not Trust Desire

This morning we are approaching the book of Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs, depending on your tradition. If you ever want to feel a little hot under the collar, check out the rest of this book. Our section was pretty tame compared to all of the gazelles, doves, trees, grapes and pomegranates in the rest of the book.

When I first heard these words from the poet of Song of Solomon, I was struck by the longing of the poet. The beloved running over hills and leaping over mountains to see his love!

Walter Brueggmans warns interpreters that they should not jump too quickly towards theologizing about these erotic poetry. Historically, interpreters wanted to make this passage about God’s love for you, or about Jesus’ love of your soul. But Brueggman argues this scripture should be taken as erotic poetry that is thankfully in our Bible. Why thankfully? Song of Solomon trips us up everytime we take our systematic sexual ethics and air tight arguments about sexuality to this text, as there is no hint about traditional biblical marriage in this poetry.

This book is about human desire, not about squelching it. Just like humans today, Irealites 2,500 years ago wrote about love. They wrote about longing. They wrote about desire.

They wrote beautifully about desire – the topic that is usually looked at negatively in pietist Christian settings. In spaces where purity and piety have reigned, we have been told to push away our desires, for they are evil. Desire made Eve take the fruit and desire will cause you to sin as well.

So we are told not to trust what we long for. Told it is selfish to focus on your own desires which would cause you to ignore the needs of others in pursuit of what you want.

And while what we do with our desires has the possibility to cause great harm to others, I would like to place this judgment on desire to the side for this sermon, in order to think about the importance of our desires and longings, because our desires are much bigger than our selfishness or giving into temptation. Our desires are core to who each of us are, and using them is an opportunity for us to use our passions and thrive. Today, we will run with our desires and say yes to the call in our scripture today, where the poet writes,

“Arise, my darling,

my beautiful one, come with me.

What is Desire?

But before we can run, perhaps we should consider what desire is.

“What is Desire?” is of course a huge philosophical question. But today we will explore the Bible.

In the story of the garden of Eden, desire is an aching pain. Desire is what made Adam and Eve eat of the fruit. An action that placed a strain on their relationship with God. The God who told them they were not to eat of the Tree.

This is often the case, that when there is a rule put in place, desire for what is on the other side of the rule is heighted. For instance, I know ice cream is not good for me, and I shouldn’t eat it every night, and that makes each spoonful taste all the more delicious.

This is what the Apostle Paul means when he writes in Romans 7:5

“For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the “sinful passions” aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death.”

Paul believes that the law, the prohibition, the rules creates desire -arouse desire- for whatever is being prohibited. The rules against that cookie that you know is bad for you, make it the most incredible object in existence.

So what do we do when one’s desires harm us or others? In Romans chapter 8 verse 3, Paul writes,

“For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do: by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and to deal with sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”

In other words, Jesus became like you and me, so that we may walk in the way of the spirit, not of our harmful desires. Paul continues

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

We are called to set our minds on the spirit.

Paul’s solution for our desires is a type of death and resurrection. That we are transformed from the ways our desires that can harm – we die to this way-, and take on the mind of the living spirit, resurrected, which brings about life and peace.

A mind that is in touch with the spirit is not a desireless mind, but with the spirit, is cognizant of one’s desires, and how they might cause harm to oneself, to those around you. Paul writes that in Chapter 8 vs 2,

“For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”

Your desires are set free! Our desires, which have been historically condemned, have been liberated by the spirit. With the spirit, we are no longer bound to doing harm with your desires.

As the great Christian Mystic Howard Thurman wrote, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

Thurman points to how our desires make us come alive. Our desires motivate us, and when aligned with the spirit, and our values and ideals, they make us come alive. They motivate us to come alive and do good in the world.

The world doesn’t need burned out workers, what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Desire at Different Stages

How might the spirit guide us and our desires now? Let’s consider some examples of desire in different life stages, using a little bit of theory from the psychologist Erik Erikson, and consider how the spirit of life, that Paul had said will set us free, can help us along the way.

As kids, we have a desire to be good at things, to have confidence in what we can do. As a kid, one desires to show adults that they can do it too! I remember as a camp counselor, it was not uncommon to watch kids erupt into tears when they lost a game of carpet ball to another kid. They had a deep desire to display their abilities, and when they lost, they felt a feeling of inferiority. (As I read this, I am wondering if I am still a kid)

As a child, how can the desire for competency be an asset, when paired with Jesus’ teachings to care for others, to share, and to encourage one another? Knowing this desire to be good at things, can kids learn to cheer for each other when they roll a good carpet ball?

Here is another example. As an 11 year old, I remember going to a concert featuring a highschooler playing the guitar. I still remember the Damien Rice song that he covered that evening. I was in awe of his ability to beautifully play the guitar, and he also sang really well. I left that concert knowing that I needed to learn the guitar. A skill that I didn’t have, just out of reach, that seemed so beautiful.

At that point in time, I took lessons for the cello, which, while a prettier instrument than guitar, was hard for me to see as a kid. In a time period before youtube, I got on the dial up internet and found chord sheets and tabs and practiced and practiced and practiced the guitar – an instrument that has since been a holy space for me throughout my life. It is a moment for me as a kid where my desire for competence was met with beauty.

Then, as teenagers and young adults, we desire to want to fit in, to have friends. How can this desire be an asset? As a teenager, one’s social reality can be brutal. Knowing this, how can one’s desire for connection help others find connection. Knowing Jesus’ examples of friendship and mutual support – of love and care for one another, how can the desire for friendship help others find friends?

As a 23 year old, I just finished my service year and moved into an apartment by myself, working at a Mennonite Church and an international dorm. I spent most of the time that others had off, working. I was lonely. My girlfriend at the time, named Chaska, was far away doing an MCC term. I wanted friends and I wanted connection. So I figured other people did too, so I started inviting a whole bunch of people over – folks that I knew, but not that well. My desire for connection brought about connection for others as well.

Next as adults, we have the desire to contribute to society, and for connection and community. How does our desire to contribute to society align with the teachings and life of Jesus? How does what we do with our time bring about human flourishing instead of harm towards others or ourselves?

I know many of you in this space have spent their lives at companies, non profits, schools and institutions where they felt aligned with their values. And some of you have told me the stories about where you work didn’t feel aligned. This is the spirit in action, working to line up your desire to contribute to society with your values, helping you to come alive.

And as we age and head towards the end of life, according to Erik Erikson, I am told that we look back at our lives. We desire acceptance for what has happened, and to feel at peace with our lives. (question) Can we find ways of reflecting on our lives that give us Christ-like compassion for ourselves instead of cynicism and despair. Can we work at letting go of our regrets and embrace our belovedness. Again, our desires, with the help of the spirit, can help us come alive.

At all stages of life, we have desires and longings. We have desires that are deeply a part of us, and if we can align them with what is most important to us, with our values, with the spirit of life, our desires can motivate us to bring about beauty and goodness in the world. What do you desire? Is it connection with others? Is it satisfying work? Is it to be skilled at something?

As the Poet wrote in our scripture today,

See! The winter is past;

the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;

the season of singing has come,

the cooing of doves

is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come, my darling;

my beautiful one, come with me

May the spirit guide you as you follow your desires.